A Big Anniversary

Today is my 25th wedding anniversary. There must be some mistake.

In some ways our wedding feels like a lifetime ago - so many things have changed. But some details of the day remain burned into my mind; remembering them it seems like just last week. A little thing: the day over, the two of us ironically the last to leave the reception, heading back to my car, both shocked to realize we did it, we are married and together. But we were truly on our own, no safety net and no guarantees of the future. Thrilling and scary simultaneously.

My wife's sister asked if we were going to renew our vows. This is common in the Filipino culture, and not too unusual amongst long-married couples. Neither of us really see the point though. We are married, said the vows then and have lived them for a quarter-century now. It seems "renewing your vows" is a little negative, as if they are shaky and need shoring up. My parents have been married 50+ years, and somehow have managed fine without being renewed along the way.

Although our anniversary is a cherished time, the number of years we've been married is less relevant. What counts is today and tomorrow: how you feel about each other now. If your marriage has survived, but the love has not, is that really an accomplishment? The past is the past; we live in the present. For myself, my feelings are simple: I love her. She is my life. I'd be lost without her.

With our oldest son heading to college, and our youngest to high school, I guess the 25 year thing is no mistake. But that's OK. We might be 25 years older, but our love remains fresh. And in the end that might be a pretty good trade.

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